Young people learn more about good behavior from books or films/movies than they learn from real-life experiences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Youngsters could acknowledge themselves about manners and the ways to interact with others by watching movies or reading literature, rather than with their daily interactions. I entirely disagree with the statement and the same will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

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with, novels, books or films cannot teach pupils about good behaviour techniques because of the following reasons. To commence with, written works frequently contain ideas or reasons enlisted by authors,

whereas

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everyone has different real-life encounters. In fact, young people could hardly understand feelings theoretically.

Moreover

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seeing

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watching

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television, throughout the day, is a fundamental cause of being overweight and avoiding outdoor games in leisure time.

Consequently

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, they might have to suffer from diseases

such

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as asthma, diabetes, heart stroke or others as they merely do any physical movements.

For instance

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, in

this

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era, the majority of children are facing the consequences of not playing sports and there is a need to avoid its use, rather than let them see television to learn habits.

On the other hand

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, real-life experiences are considered a far more important and convenient way to teach kids about accurate behaviour.

Initially

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, when a child is born, he considers his parents a role model

Correct word choice

and, subsequently

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subsequently

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, learns everything from them.

Thus

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, they imitate their ways of talking, sitting, or addressing relatives or other companions and it could have a more impact on young minds frequently.

Besides

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, all children have different abilities to remember the things, they have read,

therefore

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, recent teaching methods involve more experiments and presentations to make them understand easily.

For example

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, teenagers could acknowledge things that happen to them daily conveniently,

however

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, the lessons from books could not. In conclusion, in

this

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era, technical devices are already one of the biggest obstacles in the upbringing of kids, and books could hardly illustrate the actual facts. So, it would not be wrong to say parents are more responsible

to nurture

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for nurturing

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them more accurately.

lavisharma622

Jul 15, 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

Develop the introduction further to provide a clearer indication of the writer's position and outline the main points to be discussed in the essay.

Cohesion and Coherence

Ensure the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay by using cohesive devices such as linking words and transitions to connect and sequence ideas.

Task Response

Use relevant and specific examples to not only support the writer's point of view but also to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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