IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Governments should give a basic income to all citizens to live on, whether employed or unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#governments #income #citizens
Some people claim that crime and other cases of animosity can have unwanted repercussions when reported to a mass public, and
therefore
, under no circumstances must they be allowed in the media. I utterly disagree with the aforementioned standpoint, as not only does
such
 practice warn civilians about the dangers in their local area, but
also
 clearly illustrates the demerits in the current safety system. It is essential to provide people with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information regarding illegal actions because raising awareness of potential risks lowers the possibility of their repetition. To elaborate, individuals would avoid visiting particular dangerous neighbourhoods and advise relatives to do so prior to going somewhere outside.
For instance
, parents might restrain the movements of their children in unfamiliar places and, even more importantly, look after them nearby constantly.
Consequently
, committing a crime becomes quite a challenging task to do, mitigating its rate to a mere safe level for a continuous amount of time.
Furthermore
,
such
 reports
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the level of concern about their
preservence
Correct your spelling
presence
 by demonstrating apparent drawbacks in the system. In fact, many would start to inquire
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 officials who are responsible
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
prevention
Add an article
the prevention
show examples
 of these incidents in the first place.
As a result
, police and the local departments will be imposed to rectify their mistakes and to showcase
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 ramifications of their work by halting crime precedents for good. That will, to a certain extent, ensure safety in
this
 very area.
Overall
, illegal events must be revealed on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television and
newspapers
Change preposition
in newspapers
show examples
 because of their significant vitality in simply warning people and finding weak points of the up-to-date security protocols.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: