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Band 5.5

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centers
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Due to
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 some hard economic circumstances in
this
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 era, some families have both
parents
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 working,
while
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some
parents
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 are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that they could keep their
children
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 with other family members, others believe that the childcare
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are the best alternative to take
care
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 of their offspring. I am a proponent of the second point of view. In
this
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 essay, I will clarify my theory with relevant examples.
To begin
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 with, the first viewpoint; leaving
children
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 with grandparents is an easy solution for some breadwinners,
however
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, the vast majority of these seniors are suffering from old age diseases, they need domestic helpers to take
care
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 of them,
therefore
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this
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 would not be a practical solution.
For instance
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, in
Egypt
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,Egypt
show examples
 some
parents
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 who work full-time jobs, hire babysitters to take
care
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 of their offspring
instead
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 of keeping them with their grandparents.
additionally
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, they would send their grandparents to
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
 homes where they will receive
a
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apply
show examples
better
care
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.
On the other hand
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, some advocate that
care
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are specialists in providing these services for those
parents
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 who both work,
firstly
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, they provide extra services
such
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 as teaching
basics
Change the noun form
basic
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 education to
children
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,
secondly
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, they play a significant role in raising
children
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 with great values.
For instance
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, in my
hometown
Add a comma
,hometown
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 some
care
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have a
briliant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
 reputation
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
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caring
Replace the word
care
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 and
this
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what
Add a missing verb
is what
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 makes people outside my city send their
children
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 to these
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Hence
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, even
some
Correct word choice
if some
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 guardians have the opportunity, they would keep their
children
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 there. In conclusion,
although
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 it depends on each one choice and whether they can afford to pay
care
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 fees or not, I would argue that if the
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are providing more than caring services, they are definitely the best choice
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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