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Band 5.5

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centers
Due to
 some hard economic circumstances in
this
 era, some families have both
parents
 working,
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some
parents
 are of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that they could keep their
children
 with other family members, others believe that the childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are the best alternative to take
care
 of their offspring. I am a proponent of the second point of view. In
this
 essay, I will clarify my theory with relevant examples.
To begin
 with, the first viewpoint; leaving
children
 with grandparents is an easy solution for some breadwinners,
however
, the vast majority of these seniors are suffering from old age diseases, they need domestic helpers to take
care
 of them,
therefore
this
 would not be a practical solution.
For instance
, in
Egypt
Add a comma
,Egypt
show examples
 some
parents
 who work full-time jobs, hire babysitters to take
care
 of their offspring
instead
 of keeping them with their grandparents.
additionally
, they would send their grandparents to
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
 homes where they will receive
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
care
.
On the other hand
, some advocate that
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are specialists in providing these services for those
parents
 who both work,
firstly
, they provide extra services
such
 as teaching
basics
Change the noun form
basic
show examples
 education to
children
,
secondly
, they play a significant role in raising
children
 with great values.
For instance
, in my
hometown
Add a comma
,hometown
show examples
 some
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have a
briliant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
 reputation
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
caring
Replace the word
care
show examples
 and
this
what
Add a missing verb
is what
show examples
 makes people outside my city send their
children
 to these
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Hence
, even
some
Correct word choice
if some
show examples
 guardians have the opportunity, they would keep their
children
 there. In conclusion,
although
 it depends on each one choice and whether they can afford to pay
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 fees or not, I would argue that if the
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are providing more than caring services, they are definitely the best choice
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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