IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."
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The first graph illustrates changes in
number
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a number
the number
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 of
household
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households
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 holding three types of electrical appliances
over100
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over 100
 years,
while
Linking Words
 the other one demonstrates a dynamic trend of time consumption in
housework
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 of every family through one century.
Overall
Linking Words
,
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 and vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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 emerged as the two most popular appliances within
given
Correct article usage
the given
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 items, which witnessed dramatic augment in
analyzed
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the analyzed
an analyzed
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 time frame. Meanwhile, a gradual decline could be observed in the second line chart, displaying a decreasing time spent on
housework
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 over one decade. Upon careful observation, it is evident that
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 enjoyed the most remarkable increase, which reached 100% in 1980, starting at a proportion of 0% in 1920. Following a consistent feature, the figure for vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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 directly went up to 100% in 2000 from only 30% in 1920. Intriguingly, the washing machine stood out as a unique case, as it experienced the sole decline in all analyzed appliances. Its number accounted
as
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for
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 40% in 1920,
then
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 it reached a peak
with
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of
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 70% in 1960, which was equal to the figure for vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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. Following closely behind, it dropped down to around 65% in 1980 before
took
Wrong verb form
taking
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 a slight rise returning to about 70% in 2019. Analyzing the second graph, there was a significant trend of decreasing
in
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apply
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the
hours
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 of
housework
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 per week in every household. Originally, every family spent 50
hours
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 a week
to do
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doing
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housework
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 including washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning in 1920.
Furthermore
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, the number underwent a sharp
descend
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descent
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 to 15
hours
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 in 1980, which followed by a stable decline to 10
hours
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 in 2109

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words housework, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership of electrical appliances
  • steadily increased
  • dramatically decreased
  • correlating the rise
  • became common
  • households
  • prevalence
  • technological advancements
  • increased affordability
  • household chores
  • labor-saving devices
  • allocated for housework
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