Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school .other , however , say that cooepration and team working skills are more important. Discuss bothe sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

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As the expanse of life
competetion
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competition

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is overhauling in every sphere of life, the dynamics of education
has
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have

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altered too. A group of society vehemently deem that skills like adjustment and working with others are essential
while
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others
says
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say

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student
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the student

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should be trained about
copetitions
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competitions

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.
Although
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this
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essay will
screutinize
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scrutinise

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both perspectives in the forthcoming paragraphs, I opine with the view of teaching skills rather than being competitive. Ostensibly, various factors
makes
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make

The singular verb makes does not appear to agree with the plural subject factors. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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sections of people
advcate
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advocate

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that schools should teach learners
regarding
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apply

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how to be ambitious. First and foremost, to be
a
Correct article usage
apply

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successful
one
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needs to be
agressive
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aggressive

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towards
one
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's
gaol
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goal

The word gaol doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. To clarify, individual
sould
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should
could

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work hard and learn more so that always be
at
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in

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first
Correct article usage
the first

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place which can only
possible
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be possible

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after being competitive,
also
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only
then
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one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can leave others
behinde
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behind

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and reaches their goal. To
examplify
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exemplify

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, a survey conducted by the United State Census
Beraue
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Bureau

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in 2008 in California over a group of 2000 people ranging from 20-30 years clearly revealed that 50% of
sample
Correct article usage
the sample

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population said that they achieves their goal because they were
fiece
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fierce

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toward the outcome of the practices. On the
contratry
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contrary

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, individuals
emphasis
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emphasise

The word emphasis doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that unity and coordination
plays
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play

It appears that the singular verb plays does not agree with the plural compound subject unity and coordination. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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vital
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a vital

The noun phrase vital role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role and
shoud
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should

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be
thught
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taught
thought

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in schools.
Primarly
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Primarily

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, studying and working
togerther
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together

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with classmates and
sibling
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siblings

It seems that sibling may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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teach several things that are essential to get
job
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a job

The noun phrase job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in future and
work
Wrong verb form
working

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb work. Consider changing it.

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in
organisation
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the organisation
an organisation

The noun phrase organisation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. To elaborate,
co-operationa
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co-operation
co-operational

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and
team
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works
Change the verb form
work

It appears that the singular verb works does not agree with the plural compound subject co-operationa and team. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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helps in gaining
trust
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the trust

The noun phrase trust seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of members and co-worker which is important when all are working towards
same
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the same

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results. To illustrate,
sir
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Sir

The word sir should be capitalized in this context.

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Sigmund Freaud, an eminent psychologist in his study of human behaviour and
cognative
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cognitive

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skills has asserted that being interdependent and working in harmony helps
person
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the person

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incharge
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in charge
in-charge

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and members to relax and reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition at seems unecessary after the verb reach. Consider removing the preposition.

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the goal. Considering the standpoints f both sides, I believe that synergy and collaboration
is
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are

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a
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the

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foundation of
eversy
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every

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new aspects
one
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can achieve
every thing
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everything

The word every thing seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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if working in
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team
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a team

The noun phrase team seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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and adjusting with the
team
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members.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be said that
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

being competitive is
viatls
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vital

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in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

era
but
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apply

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the
benifits
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benefits

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of working in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

team
Correct article usage
a team

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and
coperation
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cooperation

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can not be
neglacted
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neglected

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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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