doctors recommend older people for exercise regularly. however, some people do not excersie. what are the causes?

Over recent decades, many doctors have been trying to encourage the elderly
community
Use synonyms
to do physical
sports
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exercise
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.
While
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the most elderly
community
Use synonyms
does not notice
this
Linking Words
subject, I personally believe some causes are the main factors. I would prefer to explain
this
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assay. From a social viewpoint, not having public awareness and available welfare facilities
are
Verb problem
is are
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decisive
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
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that the elderly district would prefer to stay at home
instead
Linking Words
of attending places
such
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as parks, gyms, cinemas, and theatre halls. From their point of view, if the place's infrastructure had improved, they would have been able to
do
Verb problem
apply
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exercise.
Moreover
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, they are interested in continuing their physical sports
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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brings about to feel lucky and
avoid
Verb problem
helps avoid
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getting depressed at
high
Correct word choice
a young
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ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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. Not only can they gain mental health, but
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also they
Correct word order
they also
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associate with societal activities like daily routines and exercise.
In addition
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, they feel a sense of responsibility in their life and find it easy to have the best communication with others
while
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are
Correct pronoun usage
they are
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out of
home
Correct pronoun usage
their home
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.
On the other hand
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, governments need to raise general awareness and create places where the elderly
community
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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use the devices for doing physical sports without any problems. Under no circumstances should we permit
them that
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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feel lonely
Linking Words
that
Punctuation problem
, that
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is why they will be sick
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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mentally.
On the contrary
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, when attending to their peers, they will be encouraged to continue their lives with fewer problems and increase their happiness. In conclusion, noticing the elderly
community
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, who are alone, is a duty which everybody should consider. Only by having exact management, the
community
Use synonyms
will be able to help them.

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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main points. You could add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'however,' and 'in addition' to create a clearer flow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your belief about the causes, which is a good start.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
What to do next:
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