IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most of time at home rather than going outdoors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #ages #parts #world #time #home
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In
this
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 present-day, with the rapid changing of lifestyle, most
people
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 would rather spend their precious
time
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 at
home
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 than outside.
However
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, I partly agree with some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 regarding
this
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 topic. First and foremost, nowadays there are many activities that can be done at
home
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.
For
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example
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,
enrich
Wrong verb form
enriching
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 their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 through online
class
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classes
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, learning gymnastics from TV,
developing
Correct word choice
and developing
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 some
skill
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skills
show examples
such
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 as cooking.
As a result
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,
people
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 can enjoy their
time
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 too at
home
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.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 were already tired
with
Change preposition
of
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 their
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
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 activities. As an
example
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, some
people
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certain
Change preposition
in certain
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 age
group
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groups
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 were tired from working long days at the office, so they preferred to spend their
time
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 at
home
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 resting with
the
Change the word
their
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 family. Because for some
people
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, that activities could be recharged their energy,
although
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 if it is just
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 conversation to spend their
time
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.
Thirdly
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,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 at
home
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 may be more
effectives
Correct your spelling
effective
.
For
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example
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,
people
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 can enjoy watching movies on
application
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applications
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 at
home
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 without getting stuck in traffic
jam
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jams
show examples
.
As a result
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, it is more
effectives
Correct your spelling
effective
 both for
time
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 and money.
However
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, spending too much
time
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 at
home
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 is
also
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 not good, because humans are social creatures that need
time
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 to socialize. As an
example
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, boredom. Sometimes
people
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 need to go outside to get a new atmosphere and a change of mood, to ease their boredom. In conclusion, I believe that it is no big deal if someone prefers to spend most of their
time
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 at
home
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, as long as they enjoy it.
However
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, it is
also
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 a good idea if sometimes
people
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 go outside to have a change of atmosphere.
Submitted by nastitirahayu97 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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