IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
#people #music #cultures #ages
Bringing
people
 together through
music
 is the topic of discussion. I strongly agree that
music
 is a
way
 to bring different
people
 from different ages and cultures together. The first reason is about the easiest
way
 that
music
 can be heard
due to
 living in a high technology world which can be shared and listened to
music
.
For instance
, western culture and the middle east, these days merge together by downloading each
music
 and listening deeply to it. So,
music
 is a
way
 to bring the community together by hearing it. The second reason would be about the production of
music
 and it tells
people
 about the past and the origin of humans. Because it shows
people
 that humans are the same and they are living for one common goal.
For example
, a song had been written down by an American singer who wants to let
people
 around the globe that they are human and they need freedom.
Hence
,
music
 can say the things that happen in the past and what is human for. Some may argue that
music
 cannot be a good
way
 to bring individuals from different cultures together because everyone cannot hear the
music
.
However
, thanks to electricity and technology everyone has a radio in their houses and can use it easily. In conclusion,
music
 is an important
way
 to bring
people
 together of different ages and cultures
due to
 2 reasons which are the easiest
way
 to hear and the content of the
music
that is
 about the human region and human past,
however
; some may have an opposite idea which is not reasonable for me.
Submitted by mahnazshafie1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: