IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

To what extent do you agree that people in high positions should get paid more than those in lower positions.

#people #positions
Nowadays, some people are likely to be paid more in high
positions
 rather than those who are in low
positions
.
This
 essay displays a personal point of view regarding salary payment.
Moreover
,
this
 support provides reasons why the motion is reasonable for those who read. First thing
first,
I personally agree people who opt to
work
 in trust-worthy
positions
 should be paid more rather those at the bottom.
Furthermore
, those who
work
 in higher
positions
 take a huge responsibility on a
work
 basis.
Thus
, paying them more tends to be the right choice for the
company
 where they
work
 in. Continuously, people who
work
 as CEO and higher have the most overwhelming schedule meaning that they are doing a valuable action for the
company
.
For instance
, the CEO needs to handle each division of the
company
 to ensure the
company
 runs as it supposes to.
Consequently
, those hard
work
 should be paid in lots of budgets. In reverse, individuals who have occupations on average to lower basis have less responsibility to do than those who are in upper
positions
. Paying them with a huge amount of money would be a waste.
In addition
, a wide range of salaries for the bottom position will harm the
company
's finance.
However
, sparing
this
 source of finance should be done wisely.
Finally
, I am confident support that society which takes roles in important
positions
 should be given the rights of society with huge budgets.
On the other hand
, those in less crucial
positions
 are not obligated to be paid more.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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