Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Few

people

Use synonyms

think that juveniles should be punished the same as adults for doing serious crimes like robbery and mudders. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because everyone deserves a second chance and another reason is if they share the same bars with serious

criminals

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

they become like them.

First,

Linking Words

youngsters do many crimes to become famous or some crimes for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their innocence

therefore

Linking Words

, they need

second

Add an article

a second

show examples

chance to take their life back on track because they have left their whole life in front of them so, they have time to change their life and

also

Linking Words

could serve for a country in future.

For example

Linking Words

, many jails allow their prisoners to learn some skill

work

Fix the infinitive

to work

show examples

and make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

products and sell

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

the market which

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

them to catch up with other

people

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

accept them.

Second,

Linking Words

some young

people

Use synonyms

are not serious offenders if they are treated

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

like put in

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

jails as the other offender do

then

Linking Words

they cut off themselves from the world and push themselves towards crime which will be dangerous for society because they mix up with

criminals

Use synonyms

and learn things from them and most importantly, they find new connections and links with other

criminals

Use synonyms

which whitewash their brains and use them for their own purposes.

for instance

Linking Words

,In

recent

Add an article

a recent

show examples

survey, 70% of young children became big

criminals

Use synonyms

who were rejected by society

then

Linking Words

they met with bad

people

Use synonyms

and used by them. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

punishment is important for any offender to make a fear in their mind, it is not a permanent solution if

people

Use synonyms

really want to change someone they should accept them and try to improve them on their mistakes rather than giving punishment.

grewalpt1249

Jul 16, 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

in some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the last few decades, there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media should have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for future. It is more important to focus on present. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.