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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed.] Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications?

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Nowadays, the business sector has become more competitive than in the past.
This
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 means that employers call for being more talented in socialisation and being strongly educated. In my opinion, having social skills
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more vital compared to good qualifications in
this
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 century. In
this
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 essay, what are the benefits of being social in business competition will be explained in the coming paragraph with a logical conclusion.
To begin
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 with, the
last
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 2 decades have witnessed bizarre circumstances in some companies.
People
Use synonyms
 who work to choose employment forget to be stigmatised when they make a core decision. They believe that candidates who have a huge network suit
this
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 position.
For example
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, getting a job in countries which have an awful economy (including Turkiye, Bulgaria, and Macedonia) is so tough as you need to have close ties like family members.
Hence
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, many
people
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 who have a high educational level might be unemployed
with
Change preposition
because of
show examples
this
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 inequality.
This
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 could be
seemed
Verb problem
seen
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notas
Correct your spelling
as
a social skill,
however
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, it really high-level interaction skill
according to
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 these poor countries.
On the other hand
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, some researchers point out that introverted
people
Use synonyms
 with good qualifications are struggling to find work. Because a lack of communication skills promotes showing their talents in their own subject.
Therefore
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,
this
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 situation chips away at their self-confidence and they could be more asocial than before. Businesses are a sea, and
this
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 sea is becoming more and more deeper for
people
Use synonyms
 who have social anxiety. In conclusion, both qualification and socialisation are significant to be in a race with competitors.
Nevertheless
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,the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of having a good bridge with others outweigh the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of being educated. I hope
this
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 issue will be fixed by the governments in the future and
people
Use synonyms
 might assess via equal standards.

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task response
Task response: The essay addresses the prompt but could benefit from a clearer argumentation and more comprehensive examples. Ensure to provide a well-structured and focused response to the task question.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is adequate, but the essay would benefit from clearer transitions between points and a more coherent organization. Ensure to use cohesive devices and logical sequencing to improve coherence and cohesion in your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • networking
  • relationship-building
  • effective communication
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • technical expertise
  • prerequisite
  • essential knowledge
  • problem-solving skills
  • leadership
  • negotiation
  • managing teams
  • resolving conflicts
  • motivating
  • adaptability
  • diverse cultural settings
  • resilient
  • career advancement
  • specialized roles
  • advanced degrees
  • certifications
  • competitive edge
  • job market
  • technical know-how
  • interact effectively
  • colleagues
  • clients
  • superiors
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