IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups.
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There have two graphs to provide some information about the
hours
Use synonyms
 worked and acquired
illness
Use synonyms
 possibility between different
kinds
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, like
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
, lawyers and lecturers. These two graphs
are totally show
Change the verb form
totally show
show examples
 eight
kinds
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and provide some information
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
 be illustrated
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 text.
According
Add the preposition
toAccording
show examples
 the table graph and
par
Correct your spelling
bar
show examples
 chart,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the relationship between average
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 per week and
occupation related
Add a hyphen
occupation-related
show examples
illness
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
not
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 related. To more
explanations
Fix the agreement mistake
explanation
show examples
, people
worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in business contributed the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
highest time
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and 70
hours
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to do
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per week,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lecturers,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are merely pay
Change the verb form
are merely paid
are merely paying
show examples
 30
hours
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
, and they still
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
biggest part in professional
illness
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 these people.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
 take
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 larger time to
work
Use synonyms
, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
just take up 11%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
illness
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is far fewer than lectures,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 kind of occupation will have 25% possibility to acquired
illness
Use synonyms
. For other
kinds
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, like movie producers, it
is
Change the verb form
also needs
show examples
also
Linking Words
needs
Add the particle
toneeds
show examples
 pay more attention owing to they are not only used about 60
hours
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 15% reorganized they are suffering from
illness
Use synonyms
 when
stared
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
this
Linking Words
 job.
As a result
Linking Words
, for various
kinds
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, these workers
are not only pay
Change the verb form
are not only paid
show examples
 over 30 to 70
hours
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 afford occupation sicks account
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 5% to 25%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to talk about
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 stress and evaluate health conditions
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to see from all views, like
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 and
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
show examples
 of
illness
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, illness, kinds, career, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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