The key to solving the environment problems is for the present generations to sacrifice their convenient lifestyle for the sake of future generations. Agree/disagree?

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Although
Linking Words
many people believe that sacrificing the modern
lifestyle
Use synonyms
by the present generation is the only key to solving environmental problems, I think in a reverse manner and disagree with the given statement. My inclination is justified in the following paragraphs.
Examine
Wrong verb form
Examining
show examples
the former opinion, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is increasing the capacity of garbage in every section.
This
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is because the present generation adopt the nature of throwing things and buying new ones rather than fixing them.
In addition
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, they
also
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believe that sometimes people do not even need to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new products but it become their mentality to keep them updated with the latest inventions. The reason is to show off and that leads to throwing old things in garbage. It makes the environment polluted. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove my opinion is rather than sacrificing the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
it can be changed to eco-friendly.
This
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is to say cars become a need for every family but electric cars are the solution
for
Change preposition
to
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the air pollution caused by increasing the capacity of cars in the city. A good example of
that is
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Tesla. It is
also
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true that Tesla become the most popular car among teenagers. By that I mean a convenient
lifestyle
Use synonyms
can
be transfer
Change the verb form
be transferred
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to a new modern one in which the environment will not be affected.
Thus
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,
to conclude
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the discussion, it can be
finally
Linking Words
said that despite the issue
that is
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created by the present generation
due to
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the
lifestyle
Use synonyms
they have adopted, I believe rather than sacrificing it can be changed by introducing new inventions that are
eco friendly
Add a hyphen
eco-friendly
show examples
is logically acceptable.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the main points lack sufficient development and supporting details, affecting coherence.
Task Achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by providing some relevant ideas but lacks depth in the arguments. There is a need for more focus on addressing the given statement and providing a comprehensive response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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