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Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
Crime
 is a gigantic problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 countries.
This
 problem can be resolved in numerous ways, but the government still struggles to pick the most effective one.
While
 the masses believe that the best way to reduce
crime
 is to give longer
prison
sentences
, others believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes. Giving longer
prison
sentences
 is a good way to reduce
crime
 for a reason. By giving longer
prison
sentences
, people might think twice before
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 a felony.
As a result
,
crime
 rates will drop, and humans that do commit crimes will be locked up in
prison
 cells for longer.
On the other hand
, the community agrees that alternative ways of reducing
crime
,
such
 as providing proper education facilities and employment opportunities are more effective. Proper education and job opportunities eliminate the reason for
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 crimes,
thus
 reducing the number of offences. To exemplify, in Japan education is taken seriously and the government and people are working hard to create new job offers.
That is
 the reason why Japan is often considered a "crimeless state". In conclusion, it is true to say that both greater
prison
sentences
 and eliminating the root cause of
crime
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 their own unique advantages.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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