IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below gives information about species used for animal testing in the U.S. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about species used for animal testing in the U.S. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart demonstrates the rate of testing animals in six
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
:
rabbits
Use synonyms
, hamsters, dogs, pigs, primates and sheep in the U.S.
Linking Words
overall
Capitalize word
Overall
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the rate of
rabbits
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 for animal testing is overwhelming.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rate of sheep testing is the lowest. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that the ratio of
rabbits
Use synonyms
 testing is 38.7% for using medical things.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the hamsters
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hamsters
Change noun form
hamster's
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 ratio is 27.7%, which means the second rank for testing animals. Another point to note is that pigs and primates are almost the same percentage
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 9.3 and 9% in
U.S
Correct article usage
the U.S
show examples
. That means that people who scientist
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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testing percentage to pigs and primates are lower than people who scientist do testing ratio to
rabbits
Use synonyms
 and hamsters.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the dogs
show examples
dogs
Fix the agreement mistake
dog
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 testing proportion is 10.2%
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost the third rank in
U.S.
Correct article usage
the U.S.
show examples
Lastly
Linking Words
,
sheep’s
Correct article usage
the sheep’s
show examples
 testing percentage is the lowest in the rank.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rabbits with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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