IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to community? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community #answers
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In today's economic situation with high inflationary pressures,
people
Use synonyms
 are more and more squeezed up with low-income levels
coupled with
Linking Words
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
show examples
 savings to support some of their necessary requirements
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, medical and child schooling is one of the classic examples. I do agree that long-term job seekers in receipt of
government
Use synonyms
 benefits must do and contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 voluntary
work
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. In every
society
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, professionals are the backbone of
society
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 and they have reached
this
Linking Words
 level
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the support and guidance of the
government
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 and community,
therefore
Linking Words
 after reaching
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 level it is their
time
Use synonyms
 to pay back to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. As an example, many children in underdeveloped countries who are residing in slums are deprived
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic education, their parents cannot afford to send them to schools,
therefore
Linking Words
 if
government
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 professionals can spare some
time
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 to teach them during their free
time
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 it would certainly be the game changer in the
society
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. We have many examples of some of these kids now becoming CEOs or high-level executives in multinational
organizations
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 across the globe.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another benefit of voluntary
work
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 is cost savings for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government
Use synonyms
organizations
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. Qualified professional
people
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 are very expensive to hire
therefore
Linking Words
, if these professionals can spare some of their hours in providing services to different
government
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organizations
Use synonyms
 it will certainly reduce the cost of these
organizations
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.
For example
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, if doctors of
government
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 hospitals can devote some
time
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 providing their services to different hospitals free of charge, that will create
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 poor and needy
people
Use synonyms
 and not only that it will save a hefty amount in the health budget which can be used or diverted to other important areas. In conclusion, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is always a positive contributor
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 with many benefits for the poor and underprivileged
people
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. Most of the developed nations have made volunteer
work
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 mandatory for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
government
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 employees and have
points
Correct article usage
a points
show examples
 system so that these
people
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be rewarded with some awards or certificates as an appreciation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by faseehkhan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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