In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both
parents
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
out to work.
While
some say the
children
in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their
parents’
Correct your spelling
parent’s
show examples
absence. Working
parents
actually have some benefits for the family.
Firstly
it could double the income of the family.
Although
some people said money is not everything, it actually has a big role in running life. Money actually can provide anything we need
such
as good books to make our kids smarter, healthy meals to support youth development, and can give a lot of ages to do technical things.
Moreover
, it could teach
parents
and heirs to manage their life on their own. Meanwhile, the parent figure is actually one of the important things in
children
's development.
Firstly
,
parents
could have a lot of bonding
time
with their
children
. The early years after childbirth
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
one of the precious times for both
parents
to see offspring grow. Taking a 'sabbatical term' could give a mother or father
time
to ensure the
children
's prime
time
.
Secondly
,
Parents
could have a lot of
time
to teach
children
anything to shape
children
's habits. It could give
children
a good foundation to be able to perform in
children
's later life.
Finally
,
parents
could have free
time
to play with their
children
.
This
is actually one of the simple happiness for
parents
.
While
both
parents
going out to work is good to gain so money to live, I think
parents
should prioritize child development, especially in the few years after childbirth.
Submitted by usafakhri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • emotional well-being
  • parental involvement
  • social development
  • extracurricular activities
  • childcare solutions
  • time management
  • career advancement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: