In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing school and starting universities.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #universities

majority

Add an article

the majority

show examples

of the countries , people

advice

Replace the word

advise

show examples

young

adults

to travel to obtain experience that would be beneficial for tertiary education .

While

many people think

this

is advantageous there are people who believe

this

would result in major drawbacks . On one hand , it is important for young

adults

to travel the world so they acquire experience that could help them during their university period .

For instance

, it's very common in Europe for a family to send their children to a

neighboring

Change the spelling

neighbouring

show examples

country alone so they learn how to overcome difficult

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

such

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

alone , getting a job etc ,

moreover

Add a comma

,moreover

show examples

it will help the young

adults

to obtain soft skills that the school will not provide and would have a significant impact on their lives .

On the other hand

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

for a year could result

Correct your spelling

show examples

valuable time lost , nowadays the competition to get

in to

Join the words

into

show examples

a university is quite competitive. Young

adults

should try to use

this

time to do an additional course which would help their chances to get into universities much higher .

For example

, going to a workshop or trying for an internship would

Correct your spelling

benefit

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

an individual more than

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

outside for a year In conclusion ,

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

for a year before joining

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

might have a positive outcome

however

it could result in major disadvantages

Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on Mon Jul 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there is an ongoing issue regarding the abolishment of public parks for commuters. Some people assert that the government has to remove the public parks near the center of a city and instead build public facilities to encourage employment or improve transport systems for commuters because sometimes the shared space for the community between the high-rise buildings interrupts workers' commute. They argue that making room for new workplaces or developing transport is more effective for commuting and it would be helpful to the socio-economy. According to an announcement by the government, the number of people using parks is declining these days because of severe dust in the air. Thus, they argue it is better to establish new spaces for workers rather than disburse the expenditures for managing the parks.
7
band
Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Due to the advent of technology, our lives have undergone a drastic change. Life, at present, has become much more comfortable, easy, and dynamic than in the past. While I agree that life has been more complicated since the revolution in technology, I could not imagine how our lives could be without it.
<4
band
After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.
Recidivism has taken the attention as the biggest challenge in recent years. This essay will dig into this phenomenon including the impacts of this and giving temporary solutions.
6
band
Prompt: Watching TV shows and movies about crime is becoming more and more popular. Why is this? What effects does that have on society?
The conspicuous rise of crime documents and their propagation has become more prevailing nowadays. This happened due to the rise in crime percentages. Consequently, those TV shows affect the reputation and reliability of one’s areas but raise considerably one’s awareness of such incidents. I will depict why such shows become so popular and its effects.
5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
It is true that an increasing number of people are more prone to find out the history behind the

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing school and starting universities.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Prompt: Watching TV shows and movies about crime is becoming more and more popular. Why is this? What effects does that have on society?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?