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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing school and starting universities.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #universities
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In
majority
Add an article
the majority
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 of the countries , people
advice
Replace the word
advise
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 young
adults
Use synonyms
 to travel to obtain experience that would be beneficial for tertiary education .
While
Linking Words
 many people think
this
Linking Words
 is advantageous there are people who believe
this
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 would result in major drawbacks . On one hand , it is important for young
adults
Use synonyms
 to travel the world so they acquire experience that could help them during their university period .
For instance
Linking Words
 , it's very common in Europe for a family to send their children to a
neighboring
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neighbouring
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 country alone so they learn how to overcome difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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such
Linking Words
 as
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 alone , getting a job etc ,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 it will help the young
adults
Use synonyms
 to obtain soft skills that the school will not provide and would have a significant impact on their lives .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for a year could result
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 valuable time lost , nowadays the competition to get
in to
Join the words
into
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 a university is quite competitive. Young
adults
Use synonyms
 should try to use
this
Linking Words
 time to do an additional course which would help their chances to get into universities much higher .
For example
Linking Words
 , going to a workshop or trying for an internship would
Correct your spelling
benefit
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 an individual more than
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 outside for a year In conclusion ,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for a year before joining
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 might have a positive outcome
however
Linking Words
 it could result in major disadvantages
Submitted by prakasharjun1998 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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