More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

#people #health #life #style #medicines

In our modern days,it is believed that an increasing amount of people are suffering from

health

problems caused by our sedentary lifestyle,the problems of

health

can not be cured with modern medicines.Some people have an opinion that we ought to return to traditional

medicine

to treat

the

Correct article usage

apply

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health

problems.

This

essay mostly agrees with the statement and will give two reasons to back up my position.

To begin

with,sometimes traditional

medicine

can surprisingly treat fatal diseases.In simple words,

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

health

situation,where modern

medicine

can do nothing,traditional

medicine

can absolutely get rid of

disease

Add an article

the disease

show examples

For instance

,there was a man that suffered from lung

disease

.Unfortunately,doctors said that he left to live only 4 months.

However

,the man

have

Change the verb form

has

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not wanted to die and did his best to cure his

disease

.,Afterwards he tried Kazakh national

medicine

, which involves drinking kumis and spending time in the steppe.Wonderly,when he came back and went to the hospital, doctors said that he somehow had cured the

disease

This

example precisely shows that we can rely on alternative

medicine

Secondly

,alternative

medicine

will not adversely affect human organisms.What I wanted to say is that

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the

medicine

only cures illnesses,given the fact that it is mostly made from plants,except for the

chinese

Change the capitalization

Chinese

show examples

traditional

medicine

,which involves needles.Reversely,sometimes modern

medicine

can make our

health

condition worse

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apply

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if the patient was cured

unproperly

Replace the word

improperly

show examples

. In conclusion,traditional

medicine

can cure situations where modern

medicine

is powerless.In ,addition alternative

medicine

only gives benefits to the human body.Not for one moment should you avoid traditional

medicine

Submitted by dzhumabyev2007 on Mon Jul 17 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

lifestyle diseases
sedentary habits
stress-related disorders
holistic practices
comprehensive approach
preventive measures
traditional dietary practices
evidence-based practice
integration
efficacy
natural herbs
wellness
affordable alternative
public education
stress management techniques

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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, some people suggest that companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Nowadays, stress-related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think is the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?