It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#member #piece #technology #people #break #relationship #communication

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A much-debated issue these days is whether the development of technology had gained negative impact on family communication and

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

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had

Wrong verb form

has

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improved the quality of our lives. As far as culture, economy, and feasibility are concerned, I strongly hold that the advantage outweighs the disadvantage. In the following essay, I aim to identify the sources of

this

issue and give my opinion. First and foremost, modern technology is more economical as people will be able to connect to their friends by online phone calls and Facetime which are more worldwide. To be more specific, people can quickly access and share information through email, social media, online news, and other channels, facilitating knowledge dissemination and global connections.

Besides

, it promoted economic growth by introducing and application of new technologies and creating new industries and job opportunities, eventually boosting the growth of GDP.

Furthermore

, smart home technologies and e-commerce platforms make communication, shopping and handling daily tasks

such

as buying groceries more convenient and entertaining.

On the contrary

, the widespread adoption of technology can lead communities

overly

Fix the infinitive

to overly

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rely on virtual social networks, reducing real-life face-to-face talking and social interaction.

For instance

, the younger may easily put their attention on online games without putting more weight on their study and ignoring their potential health and mental problems. Meanwhile, it is important to set a limit on using computers and phones to avoid children becoming

self-interest

Replace the word

self-interested

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and wanting to stay in their comfort zone.

Last

but not least, the risks of data breaches, cyber-attacks, and misuse of personal information increase, necessitating strong privacy protection and the awareness of protecting personal

detail

Fix the agreement mistake

details

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. There are two different views on the matter of modern technologic. to summarize,

although

views on

this

issue vary from person to person, I tend to believe that the development of technologies should be promoted because they are valuable and necessary.

Therefore

, the advantage outweighs the disadvantage, and I believe it can be only a matter of time in the future.

Submitted by cindy8906115 on Mon Jul 17 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your response addresses all parts of the question clearly and coherently.

coherence and cohesion

Work on developing a more logical structure for your essay, ensuring that your ideas are presented in a coherent and cohesive manner.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of this disturbing trend