It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#member #piece #technology #people #break #relationship #communication

A much-debated issue these days is whether the development of technology had gained negative impact on family communication and

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

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had

Wrong verb form

has

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improved the quality of our lives. As far as culture, economy, and feasibility are concerned, I strongly hold that the advantage outweighs the disadvantage. In the following essay, I aim to identify the sources of

this

issue and give my opinion. First and foremost, modern technology is more economical as people will be able to connect to their friends by online phone calls and Facetime which are more worldwide. To be more specific, people can quickly access and share information through email, social media, online news, and other channels, facilitating knowledge dissemination and global connections.

Besides

, it promoted economic growth by introducing and application of new technologies and creating new industries and job opportunities, eventually boosting the growth of GDP.

Furthermore

, smart home technologies and e-commerce platforms make communication, shopping and handling daily tasks

such

as buying groceries more convenient and entertaining.

On the contrary

, the widespread adoption of technology can lead communities

overly

Fix the infinitive

to overly

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rely on virtual social networks, reducing real-life face-to-face talking and social interaction.

For instance

, the younger may easily put their attention on online games without putting more weight on their study and ignoring their potential health and mental problems. Meanwhile, it is important to set a limit on using computers and phones to avoid children becoming

self-interest

Replace the word

self-interested

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and wanting to stay in their comfort zone.

Last

but not least, the risks of data breaches, cyber-attacks, and misuse of personal information increase, necessitating strong privacy protection and the awareness of protecting personal

detail

Fix the agreement mistake

details

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. There are two different views on the matter of modern technologic. to summarize,

although

views on

this

issue vary from person to person, I tend to believe that the development of technologies should be promoted because they are valuable and necessary.

Therefore

, the advantage outweighs the disadvantage, and I believe it can be only a matter of time in the future.

Submitted by cindy8906115 on Mon Jul 17 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There should be laws to control the amount and type of violence shown on television programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

Scientific research should be the responsibility of government rather than commercial organisations. Do you agree?

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.