IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000.

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000.
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The chart below represents data about GDP in the United Kingdom between 1992 and 2000 comparing two workplaces IT
industry
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it could be seen that
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 grew dramatically from 1992 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
clear
Add a missing verb
is clear
show examples
 that UK's GDP depended more
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 IT services. As a matter of fact
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 IT
industry
Use synonyms
 produced more money for Britain's economy than
Use synonyms
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
.
Hovewer
Correct your spelling
However
, in the particular years the proportions were almost the same between these two services.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1992
IT
Add an article
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 had 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 had 4%. In the next four
years
Add a comma
,years
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 proportions of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 industries rose gradually.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after 1996 the proportion of
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 increased significantly.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 percentage of
services
Correct article usage
the services
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 continued to
grew
Change the verb
grow
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 progressively. In the 2000 percentage of
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 doubled from 6% to 15%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, with
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 from 4% to 8%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words industry, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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