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Some pepole say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and becom disciplined. Others argue that teenagers should not sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work . Discusee both views and give your opinion.

#pepole #teenagers #work #money #lessons #becom #sacrifice #rest #activities #discusee
is a common belief that it is good for
teenagers
 to 
work
 part-time and earn
money
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
while
 in school.
This
 way they will learn basic lessons about
work
 and become disciplined.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that 
teenagers
 should enjoy enough
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
rest
 and after-school
activities
.
This
 is  because it is important to their mental development. On the one hand, trying to 
work
  part-time and earn
money
while
 still in school can help
students
 understand how hard their parents make
money
.  And they will know the importance of labour and
money
.  
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 addition
this
 hands-on involvement offers the
students
 a valuable experience.  
Nevertheless
, I support the idea that
students
 should contribute their time  
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their study,
rest
 and after-school
activities
. it is important to 
teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
show examples
 intellectual and mental development, which are essential to their life.
according to
 recent research, working
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
teenagers
 for a long time may cause
students
 to lose interest in their studies.  
in addition
, sacrificing their
rest
 and after-school
activities
 to
work
 result in a negative influence on
teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
show examples
 mental development.   In conclusion,
while
 there are some advantages to encouraging
teenagers
 to
work
 part-time and earn
money
 as part of a good experience, it is evident that there are far more disadvantages to  taking away their
rest
 and after-school
activities
.
Submitted by ku-hmi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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