Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause, for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?
In
this
day and age, there are many surveys that show children
tend to lock themselves up at home to play virtual games
rather than hand out when having spare time
. Consequently
, a lot of issues are generated by it. In this
article, I will illustrate my perspective on this
matter.
On the one hand, video games
play an essential role that helping individuals let their hair down and release stress. However
, if your kids spend a lot of time
just playing electronic games
that might lead to some severe problems
particularly physical health or mental health. For example
, the blue light from electronic devices namely smartphones and computers can have negative effects on their eyes. Then
, the next generations will get more and more short-sighted or many diseases related. Another disadvantage is that many games
with harmful content are now available on the internet so juveniles can learn from that and thus
have bad behaviors.
In terms of solving problems
, education in school should have more attractive outdoor activities for offspring such
as conducting a competition about swimming or visiting historical destinations. As well as
educated children
not spending much time
taking part in games
in order to not waste hours. When it comes to family, they have responsibilities to observe what their kids are playing and limit the time
for it and hang out with kids more often to get on well with them.
To sum up
, computer games
have their pros and cons. However
, it depends on how teenagers use it and have the right perspective.Many people today are worried about young children
using video games
. What problems
might these games
cause, for children
and society as a whole? How could these problems
be reduced?Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Language Use
To enhance clarity and impact, focus on diversifying your sentence structures and employing a wider range of vocabulary. This not only demonstrates linguistic skill but also keeps the reader engaged.
Content and Development
Consider adding more concrete examples and statistics to strengthen your arguments. Specific illustrations of problems and solutions add credibility and depth to your essay.
Structure
Work on developing a clearer structure within paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally begin with a topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a conclusive statement to wrap up the argument.
Task Response
Make sure to have a balanced discussion on both parts of the question. While you've addressed both causes and solutions, ensuring each section is fully developed will improve the essay's comprehensiveness.
Content
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by video games and suggesting solutions.
Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes both the issues and possible solutions, showcasing your ability to synthesize information.
Structure
You demonstrated a good effort in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?