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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two maps below show and island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show and island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two maps provide data about the development of visitor facilities on the Island.
Overall
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, it can be seen that there is a plethora of construction of buildings and facilities on the island.
However
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, before the
,
Remove the comma
apply
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development the area was empty land with trees in the west and east corner of the land.
To begin
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 with, the peninsula is covered by sea and beaches before development there was no swimming activity.
Moreover
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, after refurbishing the sea and beaches a lot of activities and facilities were introduced
such
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 as swimming and sailing.
Moreover
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, the pier was built in the southern region of the sea.
Furthermore
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, it developed pathways,
as well as
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, roadways and it is well connected.
On the other hand
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, the restaurant was constructed in the north-west corner of the peninsula and it is well connected with the vehicle path.
In addition
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, the reception was constructed in the middle of the island.
Nevertheless
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,for humans staying they build a plethora of accommodations
such
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 as rooms in each part of the land with good pathways connecting it well.
Along with
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 ,
this
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 the trees were maintained well after the renovation.
Submitted by fazilharis20 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, such".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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