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Band 5.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #language
In order to make
life
 more convenient, several languages are being increasingly embraced by humans. It is seen that when is
person
 moves to
different
Add an article
a different
the different
show examples
 nation where
one
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to speak in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
language
 from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
show examples
language
,
one
 might face difficulty in both social and personal
life
.
Although
this
 statement is controversial, I have to concur that the given statement is true, let us unfurl it in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in subsequent paragraphs. Admittedly, plethoras of
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 are predominant to elucidate that
one
 can have
language
 issues overseas. First and foremost, human is a social animal and it is hard to survive without speaking and interacting with other
people
. To elaborate, it is hard for
one
 to try to find
job
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a job
show examples
 and try to get any kind of facilities like
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
 facility as all the local
people
speaks
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
 their
language
 fluently and with their own accent which can be hard to understand by a foreigner. To exemplify, Mr Benjamin Bradlee an eminent psychologist, in his study of human behaviour and cognitive skills revealed that when a
person
interact
Change the verb form
interacts
show examples
 with new
people
 and society
then
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
nervousness
Replace the word
nervous
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 and lost
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 to learn
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
language
adjust
Correct word choice
and adjust
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 environment.
Furthermore
, when
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there is a new community to interact with it is normal to have
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 barrier which can lead to social and personal problems. To clarify, when it is difficult to understand
other
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others
show examples
 and
understood
Add a missing verb
be understood
show examples
 by them
also
, a
person
 can feel isolated and face some physical and mental problems like depression and anxiety
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 interacting
society
Change preposition
with society
show examples
. To illustrate, a survey conducted by The United State Census Bureau in California in 2008 over a group of 2000
people
 ranging from 20-30
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 revealed that 35% of
people
 are suffering from anxiety and depression because they were new to society and are unable to speak local
language
due to
 which they lost their personal and professional
life
 which they have in their own country.
To conclude
, it can be said that living in a country with
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of impacts on
personal
Add an article
the personal
show examples
, professional and social
life
 of a
person
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
time which have dreadful results.
Submitted by smanureet on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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