Governments should not provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#governments #care #support #people #responsibility #person #retirement

It is said authorities should not offer

care

or financial

support

for senior

people

due to

it is the responsibility of each

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

to prepare for retirement and

support

him or herself. I totally disagree with the statement because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older

people

in the past contribute

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

economy of

country

Add an article

the country

a country

show examples

, and

also

government

provide

fnancial

Correct your spelling

financial

and

care

support

for older

people

this

step can solve the youth

people

unemployment problem.

To begin

with, there

several

Add a missing verb

are several

show examples

reasons why I believe that compulsory for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments

to look after

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

people

Firsty

Correct your spelling

First

, the senior

people

have paid taxes to the local

government

, which means they contribute to

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

budget of the

government

Therefore

, the

governments

should give back to older

people

and use these funds to build more nursing and retirement homes in order to look after elderly

people

Furthermore

, if the

government

provide financial

support

for elderly

people

these step can build good relationships between the

governments

and their citizens, which means citizens will

satisfied

Change the verb form

be satisfied

satisfy

show examples

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

the performance of their

government

Secondly

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

fnancial

Correct your spelling

financial

and

care

support

for elderly

people

can tackle the youth unemployment problem.

This

is because if the

government

offer

care

or financial incentivize for older

people

can encourage them to retire early.

Consequently

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

people

will find more jobs opportunity, which means the rate of poverty and crime among young

people

will decrease.

To sum up

, I strongly believe the is obligatory for authorities to offer

fnancial

Correct your spelling

financial

and physical

support

for elderly

people

because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older

people

in the past contribute

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

national economy of the country,

providing

Correct word choice

and providing

show examples

support

can increase the relationships

governments

Change preposition

between governments

show examples

and their citizens.

Additionally

support

Wrong verb form

supporting

show examples

older

people

can create a lot of jobs opportunity

Change preposition

for

show examples

young

people

Submitted by faiz3177 on Wed Jul 19 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments should not provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people argue that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes in the future. Others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The environment is changing rapidly because humans are destroying nature to meet their needs. Discuss this cause of environmental change and suggest some solutions for this problem

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.