Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #government #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products

this

cutting-edge era, smoking is a pressing cause of serious ailments and death around the world today.

For improving

Change preposition

To improve

show examples

the

health

of the public, the authorities ought to prohibit

cigarettes

and other drugs. I totally agree with

this

notion.

This

essay will discuss my opinion precisely in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are a number of reasons why forbidding

cigarettes

and other tobacco items should be banned by the administrations would be useful in order to improve

individual's

Change noun form

individual

show examples

health

. The predominant one is that if the regime

ban

Wrong verb form

banned

show examples

cigarettes

and other drugs

then

people would not

do smoking

Wrong verb form

smoke

show examples

. Smoking is not good for their

health

but they are addicted to smoke. Forbidding

cigarettes

would be helpful to get rid of

cigarettes

. In Vietnam,

for instance

, 78% of people are addicted to

smoke

Wrong verb form

smoking

show examples

and they cause serious illnesses

such

as cancer, heart ailments and so on. Which

put

Verb problem

has

show examples

a vast impact on their

children

Moreover

, whenever any parent

does smoking and

Wrong verb form

smokes

show examples

children

also

prefer to

do smoking

Wrong verb form

smoke

show examples

This

would not be good for people. The regime should ban drugs so

children

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

live healthy lifestyles. There are numerous masses who are addicted to

smoke

Wrong verb form

smoking

show examples

and they earn in their daily routine they always spend for buying

cigarettes

and other tobacco products. As they would not be able to attain success in their life and cannot make a bright future for their little ones. A survey conducted by the education system revealed that 76% of

children

were not able to get an education as their parents always spent money on

cigarettes

instead

of providing education to them. In conclusion, smoking is not good for human

health

so banning

cigarettes

by the authorities would be worthwhile in order to improve the living style of humans.

Submitted by MANJOT on Wed Jul 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and clarity. The essay could benefit from a more comprehensive introduction and a stronger conclusion to summarize the main points.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and presents relevant ideas, but the response lacks depth and comprehensive analysis. The arguments could be further developed to provide a more complete and well-rounded response to the prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Today many young people spend too much of thier free time at shopping malls.This can be considered negative for young people and society generally.To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to Job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of Job satisfaction for all workers?

An increasing number of professional such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. what problem does this cause and what are the solutions?

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?