IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
A large number of individuals consider that spending money on
space
 discovery using technology does not deserve
such
 as other ways which are more important for them .
Firstly
, many people who are interested in
space
 will generally pay a lot to receive knowledge about outer
space
 .
However
, they believe that helping some companies which are working to develop
space
 machines
such
 as Nasa , is nowadays nessucery because learning about other planets might let them prove that there are other kinds of creatures that are alive
while
 they are different in shape .
On the other hand
, we have the second group who believes that spending high costs for some kind of scientific knowledge which belong to
space
 is
Correct article usage
a
show examples
waste of money .
Moreover
, there are around the world problems governments and significant companies could not solve until now , which need more focusing and paying cash
such
 as starvation, wars and poor children who were affected by several natural disasters
for example
 : floods, tsunamis or earthquakes
that is
 why they prefer finding solutions for their own planet troubles rather than searching on another area to discover out of their land .
To sum up
 , after careful analysis , I believe that focusing and spending cash on anything else than
space
however
Add a comma
,
show examples
the situation is better and more useful for different kinds of people around the world.
Submitted by jumana.fareed.2005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: