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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment in six categories divided into manualand non-manual occupations.

The pie charts give information about the proportoin males and females in employment in six categories divided into manualand non-manual occupations.
#information #proportoin #males #females #employment #six #categories #manualand #occupations
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The pie charts give information about the
proportoin
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proportion
males
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of males
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 and females in employment in six categories divided into
manualand
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manual and
 non-manual
occupations
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. A glance at the graphs reveals that
a
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the
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 greatest
persentage
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percentage
 of
women
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work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
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 in
Add an article
the non-
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non- manual
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non-manual
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 profession than work in manual professions,
while
Linking Words
 the share of
men
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 in both
occupations
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 is almost
a
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apply
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half. In the non-manual
occupations
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 , there is a small
percentage
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 of
women
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 than
men
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 employed in managerial and professional parts,
whereas
Linking Words
 a greater
percentage
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 of
women
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 than
men
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 are found in clerical or related
worss
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words
. The
propotion
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proportion
 of
women
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 in other non-manual works is
sighnificantly
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significantly
 larger than the
percentage
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 of
men
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 in these
occupations
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. In manual
occupations
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, the
biigeest
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biggest
 difference between
in
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apply
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the two sexes is in the job of craft or similar workers , where males are 24% of all employees and females are just 3%.
Imn
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In
 addition, the percentages of
women
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 and
men
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 working as general labourers are very small, only 1% and 2% respectively. There is not a large
diference
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difference
 between the
percentage
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 of
men
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 doing
the
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apply
show examples
manual work (26%) and
women
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 in these jobs (27%).
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words occupations, women, men, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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