IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviours. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cuitural differences Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviours #host #country #differences
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The traditions,
customs
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,
believes
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beliefs
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 and behaviours of the
countries
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 depend
from
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on
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 one another. Some People undergo that
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foriegners
Correct your spelling
foreigners
 are
mandotory
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mandatory
 to follow the local
customs
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 and
behavfours
Correct your spelling
behaviours
while
Linking Words
 others disagree with it. I fully disagree with the above statement. The following paragraphs will discuss the behaviours of
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foriegners
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foreigners
 when they
visit
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to
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apply
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
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countries
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. Meanwhile, without any traditions and
customs
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 or any restrictions for the
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foriegners
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foreigners
 except the government rules the tourists will
visit
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 our grace
as well as
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 the
economic
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economy
show examples
 of the
country
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 will
also
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 get
rised
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rise
. The tourists will have an excitement to
visit
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 the
countries
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 with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 rules and regulations.
For instance
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, the behaviour when it comes to
the
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apply
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dressing sense they should compulsorily stick to
wear
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wearing
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 neat and decent
cloths
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clothes
show examples
 when they
uisit
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visit
 to religious
places
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. All the above have mentioned the behaviours and obey the religious
customs
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 in relevant
countries
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. Apart from that the nation can be able to attract more
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foriegners
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foreigners
 to
visit
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 our
places
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 and get a good name for the
country
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. If it's possible to have
a
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apply
show examples
good hospitality and
managment
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management
 the visitors will be delighted
as well as
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 again they will have an
exitement
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excitement
 to
visit
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 the
places
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 and if theirs'
an
Add a missing verb
's an
show examples
 opportunity to customize their needs,wants and other
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 the
visftors
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visitors
 will appreciate it. As a good result, having a good tourist attraction and a better
managment
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management
 will lead to
cherish
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cherishing
show examples
 our
country
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 and raise
up
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apply
show examples
the
economic
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economy
show examples
 of the
country
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 gradually. I totally disagree with the above statement because visitors should have
their
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the
show examples
 freedom to enjoy their time. And
also
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 to make them feel good and safe to stay in their destination that they want.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the local
Customs
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 and
benaviours
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behaviours
behaviour
 will
highly
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be highly
show examples
 judged when it comes to religious
places
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, I highly recommend
to reduce
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reducing
show examples
 the set of rules and
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
 the visitors
to
Change the verb form
apply
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have their time with their loved
in
Correct pronoun usage
ones in
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 their expected ways.
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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