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Band 5

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Even though most parents worry about their sons or daughters relying on their
smartphone
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smartphones
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 too much and forgetting to give a basic awareness of reality. In my opinion, I reckon that spending some
time
 on
this
 kind of personal gadget helps children fit into our digitized civilization.
Firstly
, for young children who are mainly in the age of studying in primary schools, taking some
time
 on personal gadgets like smartphones is a great way to keep in touch with their families or friends and practice exchanging ideas on social media platforms.
Also
,
this
 can help them keep updated with the latest news or information
of
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on
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 different subjects, understanding themselves and what they are really interested in.
Furthermore
, smartphones provide a key opportunity to let
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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 build more effective learning approaches with new technologies.
On the other hand
, spending too much
time
 on smartphones can
also
 give some drawbacks.
For example
, it is hard for young children to focus on their
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 and may lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poor class performance. Sometimes,in worse
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 young
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 will probably be addicted to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exciting smartphone games and lose
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
 of communicating with other
persons
Replace the word
people
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 in real life.
Besides
,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 games with
violence
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violent
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 content may give a potential possibility of
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 committing crimes in our society after they grow up as adults.
Consequently
, I think that it is generally beneficial for
childrens
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children
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 to spend balanced
time
on
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apply
show examples
integrating personal gadgets with new learning skills and broadening their social network without impacting their school
works
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work
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 or family relationship.
Submitted by leo3452811 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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