IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent times many people are making the decision to live alone. What are the causes of this? Does it have positive or negative effects on society?

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Several
people
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are
Verb problem
have
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 preferred to stay alone since the previous era.In my opinion ,the main causes are private space issues and distraction factors that are encouraging
people
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 to live alone.
According to
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 my perspective, it has positive impacts on
society
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.
Firstly
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,private space issues lead a
person
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 to live alone.
For instance
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,in the
U.S.A
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U.S.A.
 the average population prefer to live separately because private space is the biggest concern of
this
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 generation and
people
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 want to spend their life
according to
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 their own dean without the involvement of anyone else so they cut themselves off from family and friends to enjoy life.
Furthermore
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,living alone leads a
person
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 to rely on themselves and become independent.So,
society
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 is being affected positively when
people
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 are becoming independent.
Secondly
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,being alone a
person
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 cuts off a lot of distractions and can concentrate on their work more efficiently.
For example
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,living with family and friends a lot of time can be consumed by them and there are some responsibilities that have to be done by a
person
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 as a good friend or family member so a
person
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 can not give all his focus to his work being with family and friends.
Besides
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this
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,
people
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 have to face many challenges
such
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 as financial,social and commercial challenges being alone gives them a tough time and as human nature tough time makes a
person
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 strong.As strong
people
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 make a
society
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 strong and
this
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also
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 has positive impacts on
society
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.
To conclude
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,I think that
people
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 may leave their parents' homes and stay alone to make progress,
Correct word choice
and
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become independent and strong in their own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.

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task response
The introduction could be clearer in addressing the two parts of the question: the causes of living alone and its effects on society. Additionally, make sure to explicitly state whether these effects are positive or negative in a more direct manner.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. For instance, use transition words to link sentences and paragraphs logically, which can enhance the flow of your arguments.
task response
While you provide some examples, they could be more specific and detailed. This would strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive. Avoid generalizations and support your points with concrete details.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, and you make an effort to support your perspective, which is commendable.
task achievement
You address the importance of independence and personal development resulting from living alone, which is a relevant point.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • autonomy
  • urbanization
  • social norms
  • digital communication
  • isolation
  • financial stability
  • personal development
  • changing values
  • communal living
  • career advancement
  • housing availability
  • loneliness
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