The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.
The illustrations below demonstrate the
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
of
obesity
among boys and girls 12 to 19 years by ethnicity in the USA in 2004 and 2014.
Overall
,
among
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apply
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males dominated
hispanic
Correct your spelling
Hispanics
in both situations,
while
among
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apply
show examples
females
led
Verb problem
dominated
show examples
Change the capitalization
non-Hispanic
show examples
non-hispanic
black
Fix the agreement mistake
blacks
show examples
in both years. Easily seen, that the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
obesity
rate
had
Verb problem
was among
show examples
hispanic
Change the capitalization
Hispanic
show examples
men.
However
,
non-hispanic
Correct your spelling
non-Hispanic
show examples
black
Fix the agreement mistake
blacks
show examples
had
low
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
show examples
obesity
ratio in
the
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apply
show examples
2004
as
Change preposition
than
show examples
non-hispanic
Correct your spelling
non-Hispanic
show examples
white
Fix the agreement mistake
whites
show examples
in 2014 with 17%.
Moreover
,
hispanic
Change the capitalization
Hispanic
show examples
men became fatter a bit more than two times in 2014 compared to
the
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apply
show examples
2004. Obviously,
non-hispanic
Correct your spelling
non-Hispanic
show examples
white females had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
obesity
rate in both years with nine and fourteen per cent.
On the other hand
,
non-hispanic
black women were leading in the
obesity
statistics
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words obesity, non-hispanic with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • obesity
  • ethnicity
  • impact
  • bar charts
  • data
  • represent
  • studying
  • rates
  • significant
  • differences
  • highest
  • lowest
  • compare
  • trend
  • experienced
  • changes
  • over 10-year period
  • highlight
  • variations
  • notable
  • summarize
  • findings
  • implications
  • adolescents
  • addressing
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