IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that allowing children make thier own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #thier #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions
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It is argued by some individuals that letting
young
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a young
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 individual
to
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apply
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make their own decisions on
daily
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a daily
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 basis (
such
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 as
meal
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meals
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, attire, and playing) is perhaps leading them to be
individualist
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individualists
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 who only
think
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thinks
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 about their own desires. Meanwhile, other people think that it is pivotal for
children
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 to make
choices
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 about important things that affect them.
This
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 essay will elaborate
both
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on both
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 views and I personally think that allowing
children
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making
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to make
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 their own decision
since
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at
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 young age will help them to be more independent. On the one hand, there are two negative impacts of letting
children
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to
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apply
show examples
make their own options.
Firstly
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,
children
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 do not know about the consequences
from
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of
show examples
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choices
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the choices
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 they chosen.
Thus
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, parents should supervise them in certain options.
For example
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, in terms of food
choices
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, most young individuals prefer sweet foods rather than food
contain
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containing
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 high
fiber
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fibre
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 and
vitamin
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vitamins
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.
Therefore
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, parents should make a
choise
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choice
 regarding food for their
children
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.
Secondly
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,
children
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also
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 will think just their own wishes without thinking
others
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of others
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 when adults provide
an
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apply
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authority to
children
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.
This
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 means they do not fully understand
about
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apply
show examples
other perspectives.
On the other hand
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,
the
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apply
show examples
independency can be trained
since
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at
show examples
early
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an early
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 young age starting from parents allowing
children
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 to make an option about matters. By giving
an
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apply
show examples
authority,
children
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 will directly know the impact of their own
choices
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. After several trials and errors, juveniles will know appropriately which
choices
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 are good for them. I believe that after
year
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years
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 of
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experience
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experiences
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,experiences
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children
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 will make their own decision wisely.
This
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 will lead them to be independent individuals.
To sum up
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, allowing
children
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 to make their own options on
every day
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everyday
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 matters has positive and negative impacts
for
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on
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children
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. I believe the positive impact is greater
where
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when
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children
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 will be
independet
Correct your spelling
independent
due to
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 learning
erly
Correct your spelling
early
 of making
Add an article
a decision
the decision
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decision
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decisions
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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