Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently, the issue of
job
choice has become the subject of heated debate. Some people
assert that individuals should be realistic about deciding their jobs, while
others argue otherwise
. And I wholeheartedly agree with the former stand. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, those who claim that it is much better to choose their job
freely do so for several reasons. Proponents of these arguments insist that pursuing passion would increase an individual’s job
satisfaction. To be specific, when people
freely choose their occupation considering their interests, they could be motivated and excel in their field, resulting in higher job
satisfaction and personal fulfillment
. Another argument is that it could lead to one’s long-term success. Change the spelling
fulfilment
This
means that passion-based job
hunting sometimes results in better output such
as a promotion and career building. Given these points, some people
hold the view that it’s better to select their job
freely.
My opinion, however
, is that young people
must think practically with occupation. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that they can earn a greater amount of income and don’t have to worry about unemployment. Generally, practical choices ensure them a stable salary and avoidance of financial difficulties. Another grave issue is that there are some fields that offer more stability and financial rewards compared to other fields which has
Change the verb form
have
not
have enough Add the particle
not to
job
opportunities. Research conducted by Seoul National University has demonstrated that doctor’s unemployment rate was 9%, whereas
that of artists and musicians was 55%, which of five times higher. In other words
, passion alone may not be sufficient if there are very few opportunities available. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this
topic. However
, after considering this
matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that young people
should think more about a realistic future.Submitted by zizi03199 on
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task achievement
Ensure to address both views with equal depth to strengthen the task achievement score.
task achievement
It's important to use relevant examples that strongly support the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words or phrases to improve the flow of ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and the main points are well-supported with reasons.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and provide reasons for your viewpoint, demonstrating good task achievement.