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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Some individuals say that
music
 is a good method of bringing individuals of several
cultures
 and
ages
 together. I totally disagree with
this
 statement because in some
music
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 discrimination against
cultures
 ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
 way to
bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
people
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
together regardless of
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 and
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
show examples
. On the one hand, The primary reason why I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
 is not a better method
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 bringing
people
 together is can raise discrimination. To illustrates, some musicians sing words
anginst
Correct your spelling
against
aother
Correct your spelling
other
another
cultures
.
For example
, In some Opera
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
 some musicians sing words against India Culture.
Furthermore
, some
music
 series namely, Pop, classic teach their viewers
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not
respect
Fix the infinitive
to respect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
people
.
Therefore
,
music
 can increase the gap between nations
instead
 of unit
people
.
On the other hand
, I totally believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 social
media
 is
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
 way to unite
people
 regardless of their
cultures
 and
ages
.
This
 is
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
 social
media
 enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication among
people
 worldwide.
For example
,via social
media
 platforms namely, Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat
people
 can make relationships with
people
 from different backgrounds and
cultures
, which means social
media
 contribute to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
people
 more open-mind to accept
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
cultuers
Correct your spelling
culture
cultures
.
Moreover
, social
media
 can bring
people
 from all
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
 groups
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
together.
For instance
, around the world
eldrely
Correct your spelling
elders
,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
, and children can communicate with each other without barriers through social
media
 platforms.
To sum up
, I
Strongly
Fix capitalization
strongly
show examples
 believe the efficient method to bring
people
 together is social
media
, because social
media
 make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 among
people
 from different backgrounds,
cultuers
Correct your spelling
cultures
, and
ages
 easier , and minimize the gaps between nations.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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