Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some individuals say that

music

is a good method of bringing individuals of several

cultures

and

ages

together. I totally disagree with

this

statement because in some

music

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

discrimination against

cultures

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

I believe

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

way to

bringing

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

together regardless of

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

and

cultures

Fix the agreement mistake

culture

show examples

. On the one hand, The primary reason why I believe

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

music

is not a better method

Change preposition

show examples

bringing

people

together is can raise discrimination. To illustrates, some musicians sing words

anginst

Correct your spelling

against

aother

Correct your spelling

other

another

cultures

For example

, In some Opera

performance

Fix the agreement mistake

performances

show examples

some musicians sing words against India Culture.

Furthermore

, some

music

series namely, Pop, classic teach their viewers

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not

respect

Fix the infinitive

to respect

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

senior

people

Therefore

music

can increase the gap between nations

instead

of unit

people

On the other hand

, I totally believe

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

social

media

effective

Add an article

an effective

show examples

way to unite

people

regardless of their

cultures

and

ages

This

becaue

Correct your spelling

because

social

media

enhance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communication among

people

worldwide.

For example

,via social

media

platforms namely, Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat

people

can make relationships with

people

from different backgrounds and

cultures

, which means social

media

contribute to

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

people

more open-mind to accept

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

cultuers

Correct your spelling

culture

cultures

Moreover

, social

media

can bring

people

from all

ages

Change the noun form

age

show examples

groups

Change preposition

apply

show examples

together.

For instance

, around the world

eldrely

Correct your spelling

elders

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

, and children can communicate with each other without barriers through social

media

platforms.

To sum up

, I

Strongly

Fix capitalization

strongly

show examples

believe the efficient method to bring

people

together is social

media

, because social

media

make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communicate

Replace the word

communication

show examples

among

people

from different backgrounds,

cultuers

Correct your spelling

cultures

, and

ages

easier , and minimize the gaps between nations.

Submitted by faiz3177 on Fri Jul 21 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In some countries one in the home rather than renting his important for people white might be the case is this a positive or negative development

Globalization promotes cultural exchange and understanding by facilitating interactions between people from different backgrounds. This can foster tolerance, diversity, and cross-cultural collaboration.

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this?

Today more countries import food from different parts of the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.