Today the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older people should continue to be involved in the workforce. To what extent do you agree to disagree.

In the contemporary era,
due to
medical science and improved standards, people are able to live longer in comparison to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is argued by a few individuals that the retirement
age
for elders should be increased. I disagree with
this
notion to a major extent. The viewpoints for and against
this
idea will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. There are numerous reasons for the disagreement. One of the primary reasons is that , as the
age
of an individual grows , the health issues increase
subsequently
. To be more precise a person is able to live longer
due to
medicines they take on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
basis .
Moreover
, with
age
their physical and mental activities decline, which affects
the
Change the word
their
show examples
performance at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
Hence
, it is not possible to work after a certain
age
. The
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is an undeniable fact that after working
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
show examples
life and fighting for their motherland there is no motivation left to work for more years in
Correct article usage
the workforces
show examples
workforces
Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
show examples
.It should be the responsibility of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
to take care of them after retirement.
For instance
, fighters are paid some amount of money as
pension
Correct article usage
a pension
show examples
when they get retired.
On the contrary
, as individuals gain several years of experience, they can become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better trainers or should be given an option whether they want to continue their job or not.
Hence
, they can handle the work easier. In conclusion,
although
these people have experience, they are not physically stable in their old
age
which can cause several detrimental impacts .
Therefore
it is suggested to ask the employee
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
they want to continue or get retired .
Submitted by manav.kataria171999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • workforce
  • mentorship
  • mental and physical health
  • community engagement
  • rapidly changing work environments
  • economic stability
  • age discrimination
  • workplace adjustments
  • financial strain
  • pension systems
  • diversifying
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • retirement norms
  • flexible working hours
  • part-time positions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: