IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrests.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrests.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of arrested people
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 5 years till 1994 and the bar chart presents the most latest causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
arrest
Use synonyms
. The percentage of
Males
Use synonyms
 is more as compared to
females
Use synonyms
 who are arrested . As 32% of
Males
Use synonyms
 are arrested
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 only 9% of
Females
Use synonyms
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
show examples
 is the
non arresting
Add a hyphen
non-arresting
show examples
 ratio as 68% for
Males
Use synonyms
 and 91 for
Females
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , the basis of
these
Change the determiner
this arrest
these arrests
show examples
arrest
Use synonyms
 is public drinking with
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 ratio of 37% eventually, higher in
Females
Use synonyms
 than
Males
Use synonyms
. Same like that,
drink
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
 driving is
also
Linking Words
 a
perilus
Correct your spelling
perilous
 thing which is rising at 26% in
Males
Use synonyms
 and 14% in
females
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the remaining reasons Breach of
oder
Correct your spelling
order
,
Assualt
Correct your spelling
assault
show examples
, theft and other reasons are lower than the above two causes. As Breach of
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 and other reasons are near about 20% and Assualt and theft are
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 above than 15%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in the
end
Add the comma(s)
,end
show examples
their's
Correct your spelling
there's
show examples
 4-7% of
Males
Use synonyms
 and
Females
Use synonyms
 who didn't
responde
Correct your spelling
respond
 about
Use synonyms
arrest
Add an article
the arrest
show examples
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
Least
Fix capitalization
least
show examples
, drinking in public and drinking during the drive are of higher proportion for
arrest
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the ratio of
Males
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 higher than
Females
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 5 years till 1994.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words arrest, males, females with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: