Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that watching a live
performance
Use synonyms
namely a play, concert, or sporting event is more interesting than watching the same event on
TV
Use synonyms
. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement because watching live
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
via
TV
Use synonyms
is convenient,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
affordabel
Correct your spelling
affordable
, and healthy .
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are several reasons why I believe watching
live
Correct article usage
a live
show examples
performance
Use synonyms
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
is better than attending it
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
show examples
. The primary
advantange
Correct your spelling
advantage
of watching
live
Add an article
the live
show examples
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
is
covenience
Correct your spelling
convenience
convenient
. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
do not need to travel to the place of
performance
Use synonyms
, which means
people
Use synonyms
can save a considerable amount of time and effort. Affordable is another benefit of watching live
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because
people
Use synonyms
do not require to purchase
performance
Use synonyms
tickets , which means
people
Use synonyms
can see live
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
without worrying about
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
aspects.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these factors can make
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
of watching live
live
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
more entertaining than attending it physically.
Finally
Linking Words
, watching
live
Add an article
the live
show examples
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
through
Change preposition
on
show examples
television
Use synonyms
is
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
the healthy
show examples
method.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
can watch
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
TV
Use synonyms
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
their homes in
quiet
Add an article
a quiet
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
. In comparison, attending live
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
in-person is overcrowded.
As a result
Linking Words
,
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
Use synonyms
performance
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
show examples
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
TV
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
noise
Replace the word
noisy
show examples
environment.
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means
people
Use synonyms
can enjoy the experience of
performance
Use synonyms
without distractions .
To sum up
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that watching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
live
performance
Use synonyms
via
TV
Use synonyms
is a best than attending physically
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because watching
Use synonyms
performance
Correct article usage
a performance
show examples
via
TV
Use synonyms
is comfortable, inexpensive, and provide
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
way to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
live
performance
Use synonyms
namely, music,
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
, and concert.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • replicated
  • energy
  • atmosphere
  • sense of community
  • shared excitement
  • unforgettable
  • predictable
  • convenience
  • comfort
  • crowds
  • travel
  • multiple camera angles
  • close-ups
  • replays
  • enhancing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: