IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays we have more and more elderly people.It is undeniable that care about elderly humans become an essential part of our life

Nowadays we have more and more elderly people.It is undeniable that care
about
Change preposition
for
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 elderly humans become an essential part of our life. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will look at society,
examine
Correct word choice
and examine
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 factors responsible for
better
Add an article
a better
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 life for older persons. One of the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem
are
Change the verb form
is
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 lack of medicine,lack of the resources
such
Linking Words
 as material,financial,necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 vitamins like a,b,c and et cetera. From my point of view
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 reason to cope
this
Linking Words
 way
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
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 more attention and support from relatives and family.I strongly believe that it will help aged people to solve their problems. Another problem that follows is that young people do not want
care
Fix the infinitive
to care
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 about
older
Add an article
the older
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 generation.One of the main reasons behind that
they
Add a missing verb
is they
show examples
 are working day by day in a row.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 young generation wants to get more cash.
Third
Change the article
The third
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 problem is government should provide and give support in money or medical helps. In country where live older generations must have nursing homes with all facilities. A good case in point is today’s
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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 society
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 the quality and efficiency in all areas.
That is
Linking Words
 to say in future we will look
noticeable
Change preposition
at noticeable
show examples
 changes to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life. I hope that society will be able to cope with the increase in
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
 population today and it can be managed with
strongly
Change the adverb
strong
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 discipline,healthy food,everyday activities, social communication and other aspects. Every person will be older and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 we will get ready for aging challenges. So it would not be surprising to see some issues in the near future.
In other words
Linking Words
, it might happen and we should be ready to bear all the consequences of that.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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