IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year and the year after it was reffurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied thet were with their visit, during th same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year and the year after it was reffurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied thet were with their visit, during th same two periods.
#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #were #visit #two #periods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the number of people who visit Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 before and after
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 redevelopment. The pie charts illustrate the proportion of satisfaction level from the
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the number of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 rose after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the level of visitor satisfaction increased after
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
refurbishment
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. Looking at the
infomration
Correct your spelling
information
 in more detail,
Linking Words
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 there are 74,000 people visiting the Ashdown
Museum
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 figure went up to 92,000
visitors
Use synonyms
 after
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 redevelopment. With respect to the results of surveys, 40% and 15%
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
 gave bad responses to the
museum
Use synonyms
 before
refurbishment
Use synonyms
 where they said dissatisfied and very dissatisfied respectively.
However
Linking Words
, those figures declined significantly to 15% of dissatisfied and only 5% of very dissatisfied. In terms of positive survey results,
Linking Words
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 30%
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
 filled satisfied and
this
Linking Words
 percentage rose by 10%. The very satisfied
respond
Replace the word
response
show examples
also
Linking Words
 increased from 15% to 35%. There are 5%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who did not fill
the
Change preposition
out the
show examples
 survey
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both before and after
refurbishment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors, refurbishment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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