IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #countries #vacancies #specialist #areas #medicine #movement #part #workers #world
In the concepts of human
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
show examples
, some psychologists who are experts in the fields of human science and cognitive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, blame some of the subjects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instinctive
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
. Immigration of human beings is
one
 of those instinctive matters.
People
, like most of the moving entities of
this
 plant, would prefer spending their limited lives, on the lands which they find more progressive towards their own sake or their families. Are developed
countries
 taking advantage of the said matter and luring the
people
 of less unfortunate lands to the inside of their borders? On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 aspect, more developed
countries
, find, attracting talented and skilled part of
one
 society considerably cheaper and with lesser effort in comparison to building a well-educated person from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zero age
Add a hyphen
zero-age
show examples
 and hoping that after about 20 years,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
he
show examples
 or
her
Correct pronoun usage
she
show examples
, to become talented enough for keeping
one
 part of the
country
 going. For them, it is only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 matter of choosing and well, in the department of progress and winning, votes are all in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of selecting the capitals you need, rather than building them
one
 by
one
 from the ground up. They use their already provided convenience and facilities for their own citizens, to draw
people
 from developing
countries
 without having to spend a lot more money as they do for their own residents. especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complex fields
such
 as medicine, engineering and politics.
However
, from the point of view of the actual
people
 who are stuck in an under-developed
country
, gazing into their future
that is
 being wasted in front of them, moving toward a brighter
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, may sound plausible and even rational. They spend their whole life trying to improve themselves in
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
 and gaining useful skills, to have a minimum decent life, yet they are letting them all go to waste. So, in these situations, instinct will arise and they start looking for a
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 "Utopia" so they can enjoy the rest of their lives
while
 being productive. To finalize, it is safe to say that
one
 of the main reasons why
one
country
 shifts to or stays in poverty is the government and the leaders which the same
people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 chosen to rule over them. The decisions which the governing community of a
country
are keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 making
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will lead their citizens to escape their
home land
Correct your spelling
homeland
show examples
 in order to find a more suitable environment to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 Some
countries
 may use these situations
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their advantage, yet in the eye of the immigrants, it is nothing but a win-win path.
Submitted by vyshu.bakkiam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: