IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie chart shows reasons for migration in 2008.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the years 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie chart shows reasons for migration in 2008.
#information #migration #uk #immigrants #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates the data about
the a
Choose an article
the
show examples
 migration to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and the time of
stayin
Correct your spelling
staying
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
it was
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 2000 to 2008 period and the pie chart depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it like , work, study,family and other causes. from an
overall
Linking Words
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, the number of people
migration
Replace the word
migrating
show examples
 increased in recent years
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to be at 200 person tile 2008
mor
Correct your spelling
more
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
began at 150 .
Accorrding
Correct your spelling
According
 to the charts we can clearly
seen
Change the verb form
see
show examples
, that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the rate of people who want to stay at Uk for four years in the
middel
Correct your spelling
middle
 of 2000
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
approximatley
Correct your spelling
approximately
 150
untial
Correct your spelling
until
 2008.
Howover
Correct your spelling
However
, it t has slightly
growth
Replace the word
grown
show examples
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 any change .
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 point we can
observed
Change the verb form
observe
show examples
 is that figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the people
up
Change preposition
after
show examples
 2 years
Change preposition
of surpsies
show examples
surpsies
Correct your spelling
surprises
 went
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
up in 2004 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
over 200.
while
Linking Words
 the per cent of 2-4 was growing
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2008 it has a small change. The pie chart shows the proportion of the
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
 due migriation to UK ,It
easiear
Correct your spelling
easier
 to experienced that about 38%
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work and 32%
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
,
while
Linking Words
 the other causes
recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
record
 a small
percentags
Correct your spelling
percentage
percentages
.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: