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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the past. In this a positive or a negative development?

#parts #world #children #freedom #development
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Freedom
Use synonyms
 has a significant effect on your mind. In many parts of the universe,
children
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 are more exposed to liberty than in the past.From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 trend could be highly beneficial. In many parts of the universe,
children
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 are predisposed
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 liberty than in the past.
Firstly
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,
freedom
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 is helping
children
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 to boost the power of their decision-making. To explain more, if
parents
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 want their
children
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 to have high decision-making power, they should give
freedom
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 to their
children
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.
this
Linking Words
freedom
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 should be controlled by the
parents
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. it should not be unbounded for
children
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. it should be within the framework of the family.
this
Linking Words
 work is helping hard to boost the efficiency of their mind in identifying right and wrong.
Additionally
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, you want your
children
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 to be confident in their making
decisions
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. whenever they make a choice, tell them that they made a good choice.
For instance
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, tell them that they made the best choice for the dress.
thus
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, by giving the
child
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freedom
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,
children
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 are trying hard to boost the power of decision-making.
Secondly
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,
freedom
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 is helping
children
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 to boost
promote
Correct word choice
and promote
show examples
 their
independence
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. To explain more, if
parents
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 want their
children
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 to have
independence
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, they should give
freedom
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 to their
children
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
freedom
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 in
children
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's play causes the
child
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 to have a strong sense of
independence
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. in
this
Linking Words
 way, They should not always consider themselves a part
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
family and very reliant on someone.
This
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 makes
children
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 comfortable in every situation. because
parents
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 are not always supposed to be
physically
Replace the adverb
physical
show examples
 with their
children
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. the
child
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 must have learned
this
Linking Words
independence
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 before.
Thus
Linking Words
, by giving the
child
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freedom
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,
children
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 are trying hard to boost their
independence
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.
children
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 should be able to be present alone in society. in spite of what was said above, many disagree with me as they reckon, many
Parents
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 believe that
children
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 should not make
decisions
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 independently and without
parents
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’ supervision.They always use old and worn minds because they do not want their
children
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 to become independent and make
decisions
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.
To conclude
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, not only is
freedom
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 good for
children
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 and
parents
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, but
also
Linking Words
 it is more effective in making
decisions
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 and being independent. So, it would be a great idea if
children
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 could have a social responsibility, not only we are helped but others are helped too.
Submitted by fjafari94 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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