IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people's standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#life #improvements #people #lives
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It is undeniable that
life
Use synonyms
 has become more modern and provides more facilities which may affect
people
Use synonyms
's standards of living, But some of them feel unhappy with these improvements. I totally agree with
this
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 statement and I think
this
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 development
donate
Verb problem
has
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages.
firstly
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, research has shown that most countries can not control the number of improved individuals and they can't face the speed of
people
Use synonyms
's growth,
this
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 issue should be fixed to provide efficiency in
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
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, building a huge amount of skyscrapers including offices will
obtain
Verb problem
cause
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 a significant increase in the residents' population which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 traffic crowding and a noisy environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, enormous car emissions affect the weather and beauty of our countries.
However
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,
people
Use synonyms
 feel upset about all these situations and they will think about other places to move on so they can have a better
life
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.
secondly
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, despite that modern
life
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 is making our
life
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 easier
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there is one thing for certain that we can not deny which is the capability to face
this
Linking Words
 issue. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to be in the cities so they can get their needs like work, restaurants and general services that are not found outside the country.
For instance
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, in some nations like , Singapore the governments donate a high amount of tickets for those who break the law and
roles
Correct your spelling
rules
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such
Linking Words
 as using normal gas
instead
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 of biodiesel.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they
build
Wrong verb form
built
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 a huge zone only for manufacturing and offices that impact the crowded areas. In conclusion, governments and
people
Use synonyms
 should work in the same team, decreasing the bad habit that relates to the cities and searching for a great strategy to make attractive
people
Use synonyms
 and make them happy.
Submitted by khaleefalkhalaf on

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task response
Your essay presents some relevant points but lacks depth and clarity. Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide specific and clear examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion. Focus on developing a strong introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes key points and provides a final thought.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • fast-paced environment
  • stress levels
  • anxiety
  • social disconnection
  • face-to-face interactions
  • loneliness
  • materialism
  • consumerism
  • temporary satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • unhealthy habits
  • physical and mental health
  • environmental degradation
  • disparities
  • social justice
  • income inequality
  • disadvantaged
  • healthcare advancements
What to do next:
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