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Writing Samples /
Band 3

International sports events could contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world.Do you agree or disagree?Support your opinion with relevant examples.

#sports #events #peace #stability #world #support
Worldwide tournaments are greatly appreciated by all nations, they could be the reason that brings the
world
 together and help to raise
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 standards of
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others.
To begin
 with, most of the individuals around the globe are fans of a different sport,
international
Capitalize word
International
show examples
 contests namely the Football
World
 Cup or the
Olimpic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
show examples
 games to name a couple, reunite all the countries either in a stadium or in front of a screen,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 become more friendly and open to
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
 and
admire
Wrong verb form
admiring
show examples
such
 big events.
Therefore
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 activities could help to promote a more peaceful planet.
Adittionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, big companies designate considerable amounts of money to advertise, sponsor and support
such
 competitions. Giant brands
such
 as Apple, Nike,
Qatar
Correct word choice
and Qatar
show examples
 Airlines, among others,
also
 donate money to some team foundations
such
 as Barcelona sports club, Paris
Saint German
Add a hyphen
Saint-German
show examples
, etc.
Thus
, by promoting sports
people
 can result benefited from
such
 donations
as well as
 the economy of the city where the games are taking place.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, a better economy
as well as
 an improvement in
Correct article usage
the life-quality
show examples
life-quality
Correct your spelling
life quality
show examples
 of some
people
 can
be achieve
Change the verb form
be achieved
show examples
 by sports.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 been witnessed that
world
 championships can reunite
people
 of all nationalities which
signify
Correct subject-verb agreement
signifies
show examples
 more peace in the
world
.
Submitted by shirley_7mp on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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