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Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way

#businesses #emphasise #products
Nowadays most
companies
 are using diverse marketing approaches to sell their
products
, usually highlighting their
products
, claiming they are new in some style. I reckon it's a negative development based on some opinions of mine, which I'll explain in detail later on. Merits of having to utilize somehow new
products
gives
Change the verb form
give
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 people the feeling of euphoria that they are the ones to use brand new equipment. Not only it gives happiness to some people, but helps to grow healthy competition among
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
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 range of
companies
 around the globe.
This
 atmosphere of competition sheds
a
Correct article usage
apply
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light
to
Change preposition
on
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taking
Change the form of the verb
take
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 on new challenges by
companies
 that can form new discoveries, potentially easing
humankind
Change noun form
humankind's
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 future in any possible way. When the first smartphone
created
Add a missing verb
was created
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, other
companies
 were
also
 eager to modernize that piece of equipment so that their product sales would surpass the original smartphone (
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
). We can now fathom the great assistance of smartphones we use in our daily lives.
However
,
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
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 of advertising creation like
this
 can serve as hazardous sometimes.
Firstly
, by focusing on quantity and the number of new enhancement
companies
 put into their product, they might begin to lose quality. If highlighting new features of tools start to be infamous, which is becoming, consumers may be overwhelmed by the number of choices. Eventually leading them into obsession towards brand new things in their lifestyle.
Additionally
, we may see changes in people's lifestyles,
such
 as breaking up with their loved ones, because they want to have new relationships
as well as
 new
products
. I justify emphasis on advertising of
products
 may result in different mental states
as well as
 lack of quality in the tools we use in upcoming years, which is
absolutely
Add an article
an absolutely
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 negative development.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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