IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If people go to live in another country, they should follow the local customs and traditions. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #country #customs #traditions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In globalization today, some
people
Use synonyms
 have chosen a new
country
Use synonyms
 to live in. But different countries have different cultures and different
traditions
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 should follow some rules like the old tradition or laws
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that
country
Use synonyms
. And
that is
Linking Words
 respect for the local
people
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 have some lifestyle from their original
country
Use synonyms
 when they move from their new
country
Use synonyms
 to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
. In my view, it should be kept and exported.
For example
Linking Words
, America is a majority
country
Use synonyms
 for Chinese
people
Use synonyms
 to move in, but most
people
Use synonyms
 don't like simple food from America, like burgers, sandwiches or steaks. So they will cook Chinese food in their home. I agree with
people
Use synonyms
 keeping their lifestyle. And as I know some states in America, most local
people
Use synonyms
 will celebrate the Chinese spring festival. It is
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 export successful. When you become a new migrant,
first,
Linking Words
you should know the
country
Use synonyms
's local culture and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 traditional lifestyle. And
second,
Linking Words
don’t
Use synonyms
 ignore their inhibition rules.
For example
Linking Words
, the Indians do not eat beef, and the Arabs do not eat
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pork that we should follow. So when you talk with your Indian friend or
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
, you
don’t
Use synonyms
 talk about a new steak restaurant or Big Mac from McDonald's. But honestly, the important thing is
don’t
Use synonyms
 break the local laws.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I agree that
people
Use synonyms
 should follow the local customs and
traditions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who follow the local
traditions
Use synonyms
 should be
first,
Linking Words
but we
also
Linking Words
don’t
Use synonyms
 forget our
traditions
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be kept in the new
country
Use synonyms
 without not breaking the local customs and
traditions
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by crystal1989.liu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: