In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is considered that a few countries' organizations provide the facility to
work
remotely, while
there are other people
looking forward to working from the office
. In my opinion, I believe that working from the office
is essential for the person to improve soft and technical skills together.
On the one hand, people
who work
at their accommodation would have sufficient time to complete their tasks. In addition
, people
can manage their work
and other responsibility
simultaneously at home. Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
For example
, many countries provided permanent work
from home to their employees during the COVID in India, USA etc. Moreover
, remote work
is feasible and comfortable for people
and improves their health with reduce
travel from one place to another. Change preposition
by reducing
However
, it saves time to manage all the things accordingly
.
On the other hand
, people
who tend to work
from the office
have a proper plan to do and manage the tasks accordingly
. In addition
, people
have to schedule and attend meetings on a daily basis at the office
and commute with the team members until their work
completes
. Wrong verb form
is completed
For example
, Much large organization allows senior employees to work
and manage business meetings at the office
, which provides professional
culture and environment to achieve the desired goal. Correct article usage
a professional
Moreover
, people
can receive more opportunities, and learn experiences from their colleagues, which also
improves their soft and technical skills.
To conclude
, people
can manage work
from home and office
in the same way but working from the office
is more beneficial for people
to get a chance to enhance their desired career.
However
, it will help to improve their productivity and efficiency at work
.Submitted by Ishaan433 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The general logic in your essay seems to be off sometimes. On one hand, you are asserting various advantages of working from home. On the other hand, in your opinion, you are stating that working from the office is more beneficial. This seems contradictory as the advantages of office work aren't mentioned clearly. Please ensure that if you are stating an opinion that seems to counter your arguments, you need to provide strong points to back it up.
task achievement
The task's complete response score is low because the essay lacks clarity on whether the writer supports work from home or the office, making it somewhat off-topic. Also, you need to discuss both views in equal measure, which is missing here. The correct approach would be to choose a stance and then consistently argue in support of this stance, all the while succinctly presenting and refuting the opposing standpoint.
lexical resource
There are several grammatical errors in your essay. For instance, 'people and improves their health with reduce travel', should be 'people and improves their health by reducing travel'. Also, 'Much large organization', should be 'Many large organizations'. Proper grammar is key to expressing your thoughts clearly and eloquently. Therefore, always check for sentence structure, tenses and agreement, prepositions, article usage, and punctuation.
grammatical range and accuracy
You have shown a limited range of grammatical structures and there are quite a few errors in your essay. This contributes to the difficulty in understanding some parts of the text. Remember to vary your sentence structures and use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. Also, ensure correct usage of grammar rules.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example