IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

1.Every year more and more students choose to study online rather than attend classes on campus. Why do you think students prefer to study online? What can universities do to attract students to study on campus?

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Nowadays, a great number of students prefer to study online rather than be at traditional
lessons
Use synonyms
 on campus. In my opinion, they tend to learn
with
Change preposition
in
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technological
Correct article usage
a technological
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 way, as it has convenience and flexibility;
however
Linking Words
, by offering new advantages and entertainment, universities can allure youngsters to participate in campus
lessons
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain it with its
broaden
Replace the word
broad
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 meaning. To
intoduce
Correct your spelling
introduce
, in
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 day scenario,
by
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with
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growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 of technology, people use it almost in every field,
as well as
Linking Words
, students join
lessons
Use synonyms
 via educational platforms,
such
Linking Words
 as Microsoft Teams and Zoom. Especially, after
pandemic
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a pandemic
the pandemic
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 period, people
has
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have
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 started to
interested
Add a missing verb
be interested
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 in studying remotely.
Moreover
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, those who would rather attend classes
with
Change preposition
via
show examples
 video call, claim that they are able to control their daily schedule.
Therefore
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, if school-goers take part in networked lectures, they can save not only their time
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 their money. To illustrate, for going
university
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to university
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, most freshmen use public transport, even some of them
lives
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live
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 far off
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 complex and they spend too much cash
for
Change preposition
on
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 vehicles.
On the other hand
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, by attending university, adolescents may gain various skills, like broadening horizontals, being sociable and having
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
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.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason, institutes should organize activities or they can give chance to students to choose their
lessons
Use synonyms
, schedules and even teachers independently.
For instance
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, in
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
 juveniles have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to pick up their own sessions and professors. At the same time, they have some organizations, like choosing directors from among teenagers. In a nutshell, though
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 aged population would like to continue their education life with technological devices for
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comfortable conditions, universities have to create
environment
Add an article
an environment
the environment
show examples
 to collect them into auditories, because of its aforementioned advantages.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distance learning
  • E-learning platform
  • Virtual classroom
  • Self-paced study
  • Asynchronous/synchronous sessions
  • Digital resources
  • Webinars and online workshops
  • Interactive content
  • Educational technology
  • Campus amenities
  • Student engagement
  • Collaborative learning
  • Social integration
  • Networking opportunities
  • Experiential learning
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